break the door down with your sister's flat iron

Although news on Assistant has been a bit thin on the ground, recently, we are gearing up for an autumnal purple patch, including a spate of new recordings and a determined effort to get a whole load of new songs ready for the next gigs. In the meantime, we've updated our downloads pages over on the band website, and you can now download MP3s of pretty much everything we've ever recorded, from sharp, pointy demos and buzzy live tracks to a bunch of scrrrrrratchy, itchy demos and works in progress which we've hidden away in a dark corner of the site. Should this appeal but you don't want to spend ages downloading stuff, I'm offering a free, inexpertly packaged CD to anyone who signs up to the mailing list. This doesn't mean you get twenty messages a day, nor have to listen to us gossiping, it just means that you get a short email every month or so which tells you about our latest gigs and news, as well as a bit of information about the blog. There's now a nice, shiny, easy-to-use form to join up on the right there, just underneath my profile, and although for a moment it looks like you're about to surrender yourself to a lifetime of unrelated spam, it's all very secure and we won't hand out your email address. As for free CDs, I reserve the right, obviously, should demand prove excessive or postage unduly expensive, to prevaricate on sending your CD out until you forget about it, but I'll try to get it to you, whether you're in Brighton or Brisbane.