Wednesday, October 12, 2005

jonathan needs...

just discovered a good new game from Jo Salmon (via Bloggers4Labour); enter your first name in Google followed by the word 'needs' and see just what it is that you need...

My results:

Jonathan needs an experienced, skilled family that is understanding of his special needs.
Right, let's look at these point by point. What special needs? I didn't do this game to make myself feel bad. Something tells me it's going to go that way, however.

Jonathan needs to draw up a business plan
Not true. I need to try to remember which emails I didn't get round to sending today, but a whole business plan is going too far. On the other hand, it might help...

Jonathan needs to start drinking more beer
Can this be right? Is this possible? I'm certainly willing to give it a go.

Jonathan needs to stay on top of the latest technologies and the promising industry players
Not true. I read up on the new iPods just fifteen minutes ago. 150 hours of video, yeah yeah. My question is: why would I want that? Gimme more space for mp3s and we'll talk, Mr. Jobs.

Jonathan needs a tray to position his arms properly
No, I need a tray to position my ankle properly. I sprained it and I've just completed my fifth day of not being able to walk. My arms, on the other hand, are just dandy.

Jonathan needs a one or two parent family that will set guidelines and be consistent in sticking to those standards
C'mon, I'm just getting over all those years of being banished to the 'naughty room'...

Jonathan needs to stop by and do some landscaping
I like the idea of this. Does anyone want me to do some landscaping? This is more Dan's thing really but I'm happy to give it a go.

Jonathan needs a new home!
I'm not moving house again. I always move house. I'm rarely not moving house.

Jonathan needs order and structure in his life
That's true. And I was supposed to finish this post like, 5 minutes ago.

Jonathan needs a girlfriend.
Hmmph. Where's that beer I was supposed to be drinking?

50 comments:

jonathan said...

Lots of googlers seem to be turning up at this bit of the site - suspect that you're doing the 'Jonathan Needs' meme too, which makes this the biggest unnofficial meeting place for people called Jonathan on the web. Ace.

In the interests of solidarity, I've been nominated for the Brighton and Hove Web Awards - I'd be really grateful if you could find time to dash over to this page and vote for Assistant Blog.

We are all Jonathans, after all.

jonathan said...

sure thing. what a great blog!

Anonymous said...

Indeed. Jonathans are quite special. I'm very proud to be one.

the fiddlin' fool said...

Another Jonathan here. Way to go. By the way, since there are so many Jonathans here, how often do people try to spell your name 'Jonathon'?

jonathan said...

All the time. Also Johnathon, which is spectacularly bad. At work I spend a lot of time emailing academics and potential authors (people who don't know me) and what I find is invariably I get replies back which start 'Hi Jon', which is kind of friendly I guess but weird. No-one calls me Jon, really, and I'd be surprised if people called things like David, William and Michael get emails back calling them Dave, Will or Mike, but maybe they do. Ah well.

Anyway - good to have another Jonathan present...

Jonathan said...

haha..wow Yes I got a forward and it said to Google yourname needs and I found this. Quite Funny. I know there's at least 7 people at my school with my name but still proud to be a Jonathan!

guess wot my name is said...

hey all the other jonathans around the world, ther r only 2 jonathans in my school and i am proud 2 b 1 of them! and it is really annoying wen u hav got 2 tell ppl how 2 spell r name all the time!

Liverpool Football Club-Champions of Europe, watch out the Premiership!

Jonathan said...

yes i happen to be a Jonathan who also felt the urge to find out what i need and I believe I'll have to use the one about "an experienced, skilled family that is understanding of his special needs." that one is sort of funny, well long live the many Jonathans!

Jonathan version 5.1 said...

Hi, looks like I ended up here as a result of the same game - Jonathan's are awesome.However, everyone shortens it so I've got used to being called Jon! But in the spirit of solidarity I'll think I'll reintroduce my real, spectacularly awesome name! We're wicked!

Jonathan said...

Woo-hoo!!! Go Jonathans!!!!

Jonathan said...

Hello to all the Jonathans! Yes I too was playing the google game. If only Dave Gorman had thought of this (did anyone see that 54 Dave Gormans thing - thought that was excellent).

Jonathan(DUH!) said...

Hey Jonny boys, no prizes for guessing that I played the same game too. Bit of a disappointment that the special needs thing came up first but hey. Bit of useless trivia - Jonathan comes from the Hebrew, "God has given" or "God's gift" and shouldn't be confused with the name "John" 'cos it has totally different roots. Food for thought - keep it real Jonathans!

Anonymous said...

One more Jonathan on this list I've found that John's or Jonny's have a totaly differant personaliy and well tend to suck more then Jonathan's. So Go Us And what is with the trunkation of our name its not as if its that long.

Jonathan said...

Yea ill list all of them, Johnathan, Johnathon, Jonathon, Jonathen, Johnathen...yea...pretty retarded.

JONATHAN! said...

Jonathans are awesome! I like being a Jonathan because my(our) name is rarely used, but not so rare that it is wierd.
Like Beatrix. What kinda name is that? Jonathans are the best! I hate it when people spell it with an "h" next to the "o" though. It's annoying...

Jonathan said...

Well I doubt Google though this was it's finest use, but good to see so many others who spell their name correctly! (Hah) I mean who doesn't consider themselves a gift from god, and you ask what's in a name... Its divine.

Jonathan said...

Wow. so many jonathans... lol. this IS the unofficial meetup for people named jonathan.

Jonathan Hardie said...

Wow, how could I leave this page without commenting... You Jonathan's are all awesome;
I'm all for drinking more beer, but that tray to position my arms properly... could that also be used to position the aforementioned beer? Hmm...

Reverend Jonathan Cook said...

wow, i did not realize that there was so many jonathans out there. well i got caught in the same game. i say the beer thing sounds nice right about now.

Sgt. said...

I once was introduced to someone's wife as "Joe Nathan" as he saw my name displayed on my shirt. The spelling Johnathan really bothers me, I see it daily on cover pages... my daily phone conversations "Who am I speaking with?" "Jonathan." "Hi Jon/John..."

It is nice to know others feel my pain...

Jonathan said...

wow, another Jonathan that found this site playing that Google game. So techincally, the second link was Jonathan needs a haircut(!) And I do! Ha!

And yes, the name is great. And yes, I get Johnathan, Jonathon, etc, etc all the time :-)

Jonathan said...

happy to support a fellow Jonathin - oh wait is that not how it's spelled?

Jonathan Hancock said...

At least none of you have the last name Hancock. Everyone always asks me, "Do you get jokes alot?" I just tell them, "Yeah, I do get jokes alot, but I can't figure out why." Then when I have to sign something I always get the, Could I please have your "John Hancock". My name is Jonathan, not John.

Anonymous said...

Heya,

Another Jonathan here...so glad to know that noone can spell your names either...Everytime I've had a badge for something it's been spelt wrong - what is wrong with this world?!?!!?

Today I almost didn't get paid because someone entered in my name as Johnathon!!! AAARGH!
*crawls into the neverending pit of peeved off Jonathan's*

Jonathan Cook said...

It's nice to see all the jonathans here i too did the google game, and i too have the name spelling problem, johnathan, jonathon, ect,

For years i have told people joe nathan, but now i fear the new misspellings will be joenathan, people are that stupid,

and another cook as well, makes me think my name is not all that original, but it is special as we all so clearly see, also i am all up for beer, and haircuts, and making this the Official site for jonathans,we need sign ups and everything.

Anonymous said...

lol had to leave a comment on the Official Site for Jonathans. Either way, rock on fellow Jonathans!!

Anonymous said...

Ha. this is funny. i did the google game too, and hit i'm feeling lucky.
never actually realized how many Jonathans there are. And my father spelt my name wrong on the birth certificate, so i'm stuck with Jonathon.

Jonathan said...

my own uncle insists my name is spelled jonathon, and no matter how many times hes told, for 21 years, "Jonathan" just doesn't seem logical. Yes, I also did the "... needs" game, though I never post it i like to see the results. I love my name, I always introduce myself as Jonathan and up until recently I never responded to "Jon" (stubborn coworkers made me change my mind) but if your gonna spell "Jon" out, leave out the "H" (JOHN) its the spelling that makes us "Jonathan's" unique! haha

Jonathan, of course said...

Hello all you most excellent Jonathans! Just had to post to agree with you all that we our name is awesome! I actually enjoy having folks call me Joe-Nathan. Folks at work call me that when they're feeling frisky. Actually, when my current boss first called me to set up an interview, he said "May I speak to Joe Nathan?" Go figure!!!!!

And regarding the Hebrew origin of our name mentioned above, did you know that Jonathan is the way the King James version of the Bible transliterated the Hebrew name, but not necessarily the most phonetically accurate. A more correct-sounding version of the original Hebrew name would be something like Yonatan (yawn-uh-tahn). But I'm glad that's not our name! ;-)

Jonathan said...

Add another to the list, although this is the first to come up on the google search.

Jonathan needs Assistant Blog: Jonathan needs....

well check that off the needs list, or do I need another blog list?!

Yeah I get the joe-nathan as a fun nickname, or if someone calls me jon-a-thon I inform them I am not a fund raising event like a telethon or jogothon. I am curious if we were a fund raising event what would we be? I will leave that out there.

as to the atrocious mis-spelling of my first name is nothing in comparison to Kakacek, which is my last name. Forget spelling, the mispronouncing is the most entertaining thing. Sit back and watch the slaughter house.

cheers
Jonathan Kakacek in S.F.

Jonathan said...

I have an appointment to get my haircut tomorrow. I definitely agree with the comment Jonathan made earlier about having a better personality. I think we are smarter the average John. I don't think I have ever gotten The Joe Nathan usually it's just Jon A Thon, Jon, or Johnny. Misspelling Jonathon is idiotic but I really hate when they just spell it John. When I purchased my Condo they spelled my name John on half of the documents. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?

Anonymous said...

im yet another jonathan that was playing this game which i find hilarious since i never knew there were so many jonathan's playing this game. well good day to my fellow jonathans.

Jonathan said...

Jonathan's Unite!!! Would the world be able to handle us? I guess I should be certain I am not the last "Jonathan" that blog here. I guess I have to say that I can't stand the name John getting confused with our "shortened" name Jon. In IMs and emails at work I am constantly the equal of a toilet (a toilet = John = Jon). How is that fair?

Jonathan said...

I am a little slow, seeing this was posted nearly 2 years ago.

Jonathan said...

Cool. Jonathan here. Although I was made to spell it Jonathon until I was 16 because my mom said it was spelled that way. My birth certificate said different.
Now I go by Jon, because when I was young I thought it was cooler. I want to go back to Jonathan now but I feel it is too late. The drama.

Jonathan said...

good god have we been multiplying?
we seem to run rampant on this place
well i'm in the ranks now. LIGHT THE TORCHES! WE GO TO CLAIM MORE OF US! in other news no i will not call you

Jonathan "Remo" said...

How about a big ass Jonathan kegger near a major city, wed definitely have fun telling the cops that they would have to talk to Jonathan about the permits.
Also one of my major pet peeves about our collective name is being called "Jon Boy", he was a spineless whining personality from The Waltons, a terrible comparison to us.

Anonymous said...

DAMN GINA, where'd all these Jonathans come from?

yet ANOTHER Jonathan here saying hello from Pittsburgh! I also found this by doing the "Jonathan Needs.." meme - but then i tried "john needs" after seeing this blog - and got totally different results... CUZ IT'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT NAME. JONATHANS OF THE WORLD UNITE AND ROCK OUT!

it was cool to read that someone else gets called "Jo Nathan" that's how i told a boss of mine to spell my name 10 years ago, and it's stuck til present day. Jo Nathan.

I think we're a pretty kickass group, personally
but then again i'm REALLY biased.

Jonathan #14 said...

Another Jonathan here. This is great that there are people out there who experience the pain I feel lol. Jonathan's for the win! Let the world know our power!

jonathan youngblood said...

haha yup that's exactly what happened. now i can take my pick of "jonathan needs" and post it in a myspace bulletin. cool!

Jonathan said...

This is awesome, I too got emailed this and did it to just see would pop up. Glad to see so many of us linking together in one location. I too have the problem of people misspelling my name, it is really ridiculous.

Jonathan said...

Okay, so there are a lot of people named Jonathan here.

What do we do now?

Jonathan said...

What's up other Jonathans? Jonathan from NZ here, hoping you're all well.

Fun fact for the day...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_(tortoise)

Apparently Jonathan the Tortoise is the oldest living thing on earth..so there you go!

Jonathan said...

Jonathan's Kick Ass!!!!
Also, my son is also named Jonathan

Anonymous said...

Yes I must agree, Jonathan's are the most Loved people around! Why just ask my wife, its not like she's byust or any thing.
And I can't count how many times I have been called/written Jonathon, it bothers me.
Well Thank You for this blog I somehow needed the info that i received!

Jonathan said...

My best one is "Jonathan needs to learn the definition of 'clean lead'". My boss (think Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross) must have had something to do with that.

Jonathan said...

As a fellow Jonathan I feel that i need to agree with most of those.

Jonathan...Obviously said...

Ahhh i hate it when people misspell Jonathan haha.

Jonathan said...

im down for the Jonathan kegger. Lets have it in Baltimore MD

Jonathan said...

hello fellow jonathans!

i finally made it to our official web site! I hate being called "Jon" or "John" or "Johnny" my name is Jonathan!