Oh, this is just too cute/daft/hilarious for words. From today's Guardian:
"The last time I saw Zelda was in the summer of 2001. We had taken her on holiday and she was staring at me from a woodpile in front of a barn - but her eyes betrayed no sign of recognition. I meant nothing to her any more, even though, for the past 12 years, she had been a big part of my life, and my partner's. Her illness, which caused epileptic fits, was eroding her eyesight and destroying her brain.Excellent stuff from Stuart Jeffries, although I don't suppose he can take credit for the final lyrics:
Kay and I never saw Zelda again. We searched the neighbourhood, asking farmers if they had seen a plump, skittish, epileptic but adorable tabby. They hadn't. We consoled ourselves with the thought that she had disappeared to die alone, as pets do. I still think about her. Then I heard about www.songforsomeone.com, a new website offering bespoke songs for "your loved one", with prices starting at £19.99. I thought it was time to give Zelda the memorial she deserved. Or to get Jim Littlewood, the musician who runs the service, to do so on my behalf."
"The first verse went: "Though the world keeps turning/ One thing stays the same/ I think of a love so asymmetric/ When I hear Zelda's name." And the chorus: "There's a rose that has lost all its petals/ And a lark that has forgotten his song/ In a world of change and imperfection/ Zelda's sweet smile will linger on." The second verse was a little less lyrical: "When my partner's sister Debbie/ Brought her home from the Blue Cross I knew/ We would stay forever/ In a heaven made for two."Click here to read the whole article.
I must say I had some misgivings. Cats can't smile, can they? What would Kay think about me spending eternity in a heaven made for two, not with her, but with a cat? What was all that stuff about larks and roses? And anyway, did I believe in a transcendental realm away from this "world of change and imperfection" where cats and men live in endless bliss? To be honest, not really."