souls via nat and fay weldon

There's a nice little post over at Nat's blog which jumps and shudders tunefully along with my thoughts recently. She writes:

"If I had taken a photo of my soul monthly for the last year, I would have seen it grow. But why the last year? 28 going on 29 seems a bit late for a sudden burst of growth. Where did it come from? And is it only me? I feel that everyone close to me is going through it as I go. Growing together."

This last year has seen unfathomable acres of change, alongside lots of staying the same. I probably like Nat's post so much because she is talking about her friends and I am one of them, but also because I think she's right about the growth of what she calls the soul, and the fits and bursts of it's, or rather one's, development. Recently I seem to have spent a lot of time with friends who are bustling through life and it's associated glitches and disappointments with a kind of courage and vigour which makes me feel proud of them and comforted and hopeful that I'm capable of the same; lots of things fizz and change and all we do is persist and grow little by little.

Maybe there is such a thing as a soul. People are so singular and brimming with personality; I think of the spirited drive of a friend's personality and spirit feels like the right word, a word which transcends logical or scientific formulas. Fay Weldon's new book contains an incredibly surprising sentence on the subject: "The soul is the essential part of us, the inner recognisable core which stays the same while the body which ties us down changes". I see for a moment the soul or the essence as a balloon which can thankfully not slip from our grasp and our heavy bodies. Of course, Fay Weldon, despite "getting" god, thrives as a contrarian, and I do not think that the soul exists. But I would like a photograph of it anyway, to fix where I am now so that I remember, later.

Or else I shall have to ask my friends, who will know.